Alex and Michael Create Lasting Bonds with Foster Youth

Alex and Michael began their fostering journey in 2010. Their first placement in Denver County led them to two boys in foster care who needed a safe place. This placement eventually led to adoption and the family currently resides in Colorado Springs. Since then, they’ve fostered several other children, primarily focusing on teen girls and, more recently, LGBTQ+ youth. Their current family includes their adopted twin sons (now 15), adopted 9-year-old daughter and a 19-year-old who is in foster care.

“In general, people who foster want little kids and teens are harder to place. That was a big thing for us – to say these kiddos need that support too, and we obviously wanted to offer support to our own community,” Alex said.

With very active days, the family enjoys their time together at dinner every night. On weekends, they like to frequent the flea market,  watch movies together, test out all the available arcades, feed the ducks at the park, or cheer their son on at his soccer games. Despite their busy household, Alex and Michael are committed to meeting each child’s individual needs.

«It’s just so important to pay attention to each child individually because they’re all very, very different and need their own individual time,» Michael emphasized, explaining that this often includes separate outings to ensure one-on-one time. 

When it comes to parenting styles, Alex and Michael complement each other. Alex provides the routine and structure, and Michael brings in the balance of nurturing parenting. Their success with teenagers, particularly LGBTQ+ youth, stems from creating a safe and validating environment. With a focus on supporting the individuality of each child, their home is a place where kids can truly be who they are.

«A lot of teenagers…really just want to be heard and validated and they’re often not,» Alex stated. «They can see we have a home. We have a family. We are just normal.»

Alex and Michael rely on various supports, including extended family, such as Alex’s parents in southeast Colorado, and their agency, Kids Crossing. Within their own partnership, they lean on each other’s strengths to keep the household running. As one of their core philosophies, they remind their kids and themselves that it is ok to make mistakes, and showcase their support for the kids, who  are a part of the family, no matter what.

“‘If I make a mistake, are you going to get rid of me?’ is something that we’ve literally heard from kids. We reassure them that kids are not disposable in our home and when mistakes are made, we will talk about it, then move on,» Alex shared.

Not to be overlooked, they shared that the most rewarding part of their journey has been witnessing the positive progression of some of the young women they’ve fostered. Many of these young women have overcome difficult pasts, and now are thriving as mothers of their own children. Watching them bloom and grow their own family has been deeply fulfilling.  

«What’s really cool is that we have girls who we’ve fostered, who still reach out, who we still have a connection with, who have kids now, who come over and eat. It’s pretty beautiful, I think,» Michael said. «I never really expected that we’d have kiddos that we’ve fostered having their kids call us grandpas – it’s great,”  Alex added. 

Are you interested in supporting foster youth and their families? Fill out the foster care inquiry form to find out more information about how you can positively impact a youth’s life.