{"id":2581,"date":"2020-01-30T14:06:00","date_gmt":"2020-01-30T21:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/co4kids.org\/?p=2581"},"modified":"2023-06-07T14:08:03","modified_gmt":"2023-06-07T20:08:03","slug":"getting-gender-pronouns-right-can-be-challenging-heres-why-it-matters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/co4kids.org\/es\/community-blog\/getting-gender-pronouns-right-can-be-challenging-heres-why-it-matters\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting gender pronouns right can be challenging. Here’s why it matters."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Community Blog<\/a><\/div>\n\n

Getting gender pronouns right can be challenging. Here’s why it matters.<\/h1><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Chelsey Hall, two-generation manager, and Theo Isoz training specialist with CDHS\u2019s Colorado Sexual Health Initiative team, pose with buttons showing their gender pronouns. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Shannon Mulhall, internal communications manager, Colorado Department of Human Services<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the first question most people ask when they find out someone is having a baby: A boy or a girl? Expectant parents typically decorate nurseries in shades of pink or blue. A more recent trend is the gender-reveal party, where parents-to-be let loved ones know, perhaps through blue balloons or pink-frosted cupcakes, that they are welcoming a boy or girl. 

These conventional patterns often continue with dolls and ballet for little girls, toy trucks and Little League for boys. And while these traditional gender identities feel perfectly natural for some, they aren\u2019t right for everyone. Something as seemingly simple as being called \u201che\u201d or \u201cshe\u201d can feel uncomfortable and wrong. 

That was the case for Theo Isoz, who uses the pronouns \u201cthey,\u201d \u201cthem\u201d and \u201ctheirs.\u201d 

\u201cPronouns matter because they reflect how you see yourself,\u201d said Isoz, a training specialist with CDHS\u2019s Colorado Sexual Health Initiative team. \u201cI don\u2019t see myself as female even though that\u2019s how I was born,\u201d they said. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t feel good or right, it feels icky when people use feminine pronouns for me.\u201d 

Using the pronouns that feel authentic to a person is important because it \u201censures equity,\u201d said Chelsey Hall, two-generation manager at CDHS. Through her role, she works to help people create success by understanding and meeting their individual needs and recognizing their unique identities, including gender. 

Gender more than a sum of its parts <\/strong>

People typically assume a person\u2019s gender based on the body parts they can see, Isoz explained. But even biology can be undefined, they added, noting that one in 100 people are born with some sort of biological gender anomaly \u2014 which can include chromosomes, body parts, etc. \u2014 and one in 2,000 are born with ambiguous genitalia. Gender involves more than biology, Isoz said: \u201cThe truth is we all have a gender identity. It might be what you were assigned at birth, but we have no idea what another person is thinking about themselves or what\u2019s in their pants.\u201d 

Because of Isoz\u2019s conservative upbringing, they didn\u2019t feel comfortable expressing their gender as a young person. \u201cAs a child, I didn\u2019t have a word for myself,\u201d they said. \u201cI began peeling off layers to become more and more myself. It takes time to give yourself permission.\u201d 

Jason Kent, who works for the Office of Behavioral Health, described a similar journey to self-awareness and acceptance. \u201cI haven’t really liked to talk about it, but I’ve had a complicated relationship with gender since I was a child,\u201d they said on their Facebook page. \u201cI’ve buried my feelings, and my hurts, on the subject my whole life.\u201d 

After years of struggling with a gender identity that didn\u2019t feel right, Kent did some research and shared an epiphany with their Facebook community: \u201cAfter a lifetime of feeling like a liar because of the body I was assigned, I finally came to a realization: I’m nonbinary. Realizing this about myself felt like coming home, like a weight had lifted off my chest, like I could finally find some semblance of sanity in this physical form. The first time I heard someone use they\/them pronouns for me I almost cried with joy.\u201d 

Honoring a person\u2019s unique identity is at the heart of using his, her or their preferred pronouns, Hall said: \u201cIt\u2019s the individual\u2019s choice.\u201d 

Creating a gender-inclusive workplace <\/strong>

Small steps can go a long way in creating a workplace that respects everyone\u2019s gender identity, Isoz and Hall said. 

Ways to be an advocate: <\/p>\n\n\n\n