Words of wisdom from Colorado foster parents
We asked Colorado foster and adoptive parents to share their parenting insights with other Coloradans who are considering fostering. Here is what they had to say.
On kids missing their birth mom …
“When a kiddo says, ‘Man I miss my bio-mom.’ That takes nothing from me. It means that they miss someone. It doesn't mean that I'm a bad mom, and it doesn't mean that they don't love me.
“When we deny them that ability to miss, we're creating trauma for them.
“How we stay connected is important and you can do it a million different ways and kids thrive in doing it a million different ways … in person, letter writing, Facetime, sharing pictures, writing stories to each other. I think it's important and I see the benefit for my kids in having that openness to talk. Anything they want to know, we'll share it and I think they're better for it. I think we're better for it.”
Noël, Aurora, CO
On the importance of a team …
“We have really good therapists and psychologists. We have a pretty good [child welfare] system that we work with, too. Without them it wouldn't work, because we just wouldn't have the sources that we need to do the job.”
Earl, Craig, CO
On what you learn as a foster parent …
“I've learned to be more patient. I've learned to be stronger, because you have to be strong in order to be a foster parent. I've learned to take life day by day, because every day is not the same. It changes daily. I've learned to respect the little ones I take care of, because they come from a place that I could never have gone through myself.”
Anna, Broomfield, CO
“We do tag team. We try to always give each other time away. So, while one is at home with all the kids, the other one has an afternoon off. We try to also have opportunities where we have some date nights and we go out. Throughout our 34 years of marriage, we've felt it important to keep us first, and keep us healthy and strong because, as long as we're in that place, I think the kids have a lot more security and sense of peace.”
Margie, Centennial, CO